There is no denying the fact that money is among the leading causes of divorce, and that is why couples need to have a talk about money.
Child birth, retirement, birthday celebrations, holiday outings, valentines, travel, buying your first home, education and so on, all demand some form of monetary commitment and that’s money is so important in a relationship.
I have mixed up the above moments because these days, some relationships are even more expensive than some marriages.
Whether you’re preparing to get married, or moving in together, you have to waste no time in discussing finances with your partner.
Starting a conversation about money when in a fresh relationship or getting married may look awkward or uncomfortable, but it is very important
When should I talk about money in a new relationship?
There is no fixed time to talk about money in a ‘tie-rubber’ relationship. If you are newly dating, it can even be scarier to make money a feature of your conversation. What will my partner think of me; a gold digger, spendrift, tightfisted or I just don’t like planning.
Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. At what point do you start to talk about the money? Okay, you guys have probably been talking about a lot of stuff during the first few weeks.
The smart move is to slip in the money talk when conversing; not all times, only sometimes. You may have spoken about jobs and families, so that gives you a fair idea of each other’s financial situation.
The trick is to avoid coming off strong about money. It should be a low key topic until you are comfortable enough.
How do I talk about money in an existing relationship?
At this point, you’ve been dating for a while, you know thy selves and you’re comfortable with each other. Solid! Now is not the time to be skimpy over money at all. You have to sit down and have a serious conversation about finances.
If you’re moving in with your partner, you need to discuss how you will pay bills, rent, car insurance, living expenses and even retirement.
Also, if you’re planning marriage, and you have to ask questions about the funds for the wedding, the budget, personal debts, and the likes. The thing is, discussions like this isn’t romantic at all but they are worth considering.
If having a baby is part of the plan, don’t forget to have a money talk about events of parental leave, job loss, child care and associated expenses.
How I do talk about money with my husband or wife?
You are married and may have lived together for some time now, and you may have spoken about money one way or the other.
But the reality is that, many couples still don’t talk about money except even it is grocery time or the bills are due.
This is often true in marriages where one partner takes on most of the that responsibilities, or one person is the breadwinner. Whatever the financial situation is at home, you should have some more open conversations about your finances.
Your collective or individual financial goals may change, so you can check up on your partner from time to time to be sure your home is financially healthy.
So I have shared with you how to talk about money at every stage of a relationship, now let’s take a look at some of the financial talking points.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about money in a relationship
How do I tell my partner I am broke?
When you have no money and you want to tell your partner, don’t be ashamed. Just focus your conversation on the purpose you may need their help. Also, watch the timing of your request.
How do I talk to my partner about debt?
If you are in a relationship and you owe some debts, you have to first devise a debt repayment strategy. Now, tell your partner the debts you owe, the plans you have and give some assurance that you are dealing with it.
If the amount is too much for you, ask them if they are comfortable helping you pay it off.
How do I address money issues in my relationship?
Money is a sensitive matter and many people don’t like talking about it. But if you’ve money issues, here are some helpful tips for you:
- Be honest about your sources of income.
- Create a budget for your incomes and expenses.
- Talk about living expenses and who pays what.
How often should couples talk about money?
There are no fixed time to talk about money. Couples can have a monthly conversation about their finance. Salaries, bills, some rents and grocery stockings are usually a monthly thing.
That makes it ideal to have the conversation and also anticipate the expenses that may come up.
Does money matter in a relationship?
Usually, you hear people say relationship is about love, attraction etc., but you can’t take money out. Money is very important part of a relationship.
Almost very relationship goal involves money. Are you planning for dates, travel, a new house, kids, a car etc.? These questions are not love questions. They’re real matters about money, and that’s why money is important.